“I messaged Ebrahim but he never replies, I even “pinged” him and “poked” him on Facebook, he reads all the messages but doesn’t care to reply, he even changed his pp( profile picture) several times, from Rihanna to Justin bieber how gay is that?” says a frustrated Yusuf

” chill bru hes probably chatting up that chic he bumped to in Fordsburg on saturday night” says Riyaad

” yeah but he hates Rihanna and Bieber, but I know why he put them as his pp so he can make her think he also likes them, because she had a bieber jacket on and her blackberry z10 cover had Rihanna’s name “says angry Yusuf

” yeah he doesn’t even listen to English tunes he’s a Bollywood junky, you remember he was singing ” to chees Bari hai mast” for Ayesha and she moered him with the yellowpages hahaha” says Riyaad

” oh yeah then he said, but you wanted me to sing for you an Indian song”
And she said” yeah not a freaken 1960 one” says Yusuf

Whilst they have a good laugh , outside Akhals on a rather sunny Wednesday.

Saffiya comes along ” hey Joe !! You free on Saturday night? ”

” urm yeah why?” says Yusuf all edgy..
” will you pick me up wana do some shopping and we can go zone what u say? And later catch a coffee at CATZ PYJAMAS


CATZ PYJAMAS is a 24hr restaurant based in Melville jhb, it caters mostly for wild nighters,

” did you guys just see that, dudes the hottest Mary on campus just asked brother joe out hahaha!!!” Yusuf says whilst making peace signs and pushing his cap back like a hip hop artist.



Whilst Yusuf was celebrating the fact that he has a “date” with the hottest chick on campus, Safiyyah,

She taps him on his shoulder and says:
” oh and please don’t come with your dads rusted Camry, try to borrow your bros GTI”

Riyaad bursts out laughing ….
Saffiya rolls her eyes and walks away mumbling something that sounded like “childish”

Along comes Ebi ( Ebrahim) ” wassup guys”

” bra it’s more difficult getting hold of you than the president” says Joe
” yeah man been hectic” says Ebi
” bru I called you on all your phones ” says joe nodding his head.

” maaf man … So Howsit” says Ebi
” Ay!! You came right with that chick from Saturday night?” asks joe and Riyaad on one voice

” eish bra she’s into heavy rave and trance music, I’m only used to slow Bollywood numbers, her tunes sounds like Mohammed Rafi is on ecstasy topped with 5 dagga joints, too hectic for me man” says Ebi

They all share a subtle giggle.
” guys lets vy check who’s coming?”
Says Reo ( Riyaad )
” shit!!!! It’s hazrat wala”

Hazrat Wala was the pet name for Mohammed, who was a upright youngster with a full beard and always wore an amamah and always spoke to fellow students about Allah,

” hey hazrat ! What’s in your lunch box ? Fazaile a’mal? ” says joe and all burst out laughing.

” actually no, it’s my cheese Samooosas from home, don’t you guys want some? ” says Mohammed ignoring the insult.

” nah well pass ” says Reo

” don’t you guys want to join me for Zohar salaah here at Newtown Masjid” says Mohammed
” ok come guys let’s vy” says joe

” Ebi you can’t come napaak people can’t come in the masjid” says Reo

And there’s another roar of laughter !!
On reaching the masjid they all go inside,

” guys please wear these topis Atleast” says Mohammed

” no it’s not fardh” they all say
” you claim to love Nabi SAW but you look nothing like him and don’t want to” says mohammed

They all ponder for abit and put the masjid topis on.
” guys after salaah there’s kitaab reading for 10 minutes, please sit! After that you guys can do whatever you want ok”

” Hazat man you the hazrat not us ” says Reo
” If we don’t sit you gona hit us with the fazaile a’mal?” says joe
” no ! If you know what’s good for you, you will sit” says Hazrat Wala




One thought on “YOU’VE “PINGED” THEM ALL NOW “PING” ALLAH!!!!!! Pt1

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